14 Things That Can Ruin a First Date

So, your date didn’t go as well as you thought it would. As you fill up with a fluster of emotions trying to figure out what went wrong, perhaps this article can help shed some light. For once, your date showing up late may be considered acceptable compared to the following list of No-No’s:

TMI!. Otherwise known as Too Much Information! Let’s define, shall we? When she tells you she dresses up her cats as the characters from LOST-TMI! Voluntarily confessing you’re in therapy for whatever reason-TMI!

Talking about marriage and children. Unless you’ve picked up hints of the two of you being on the same page, refrain from just “throwing it out there!” Remember, only fools rush in!

Who Pays? “Since I paid for dinner, you pay for the movie.” Come again? Tacky at its best! Generally, a guy should pick up the tab on the first date; shows character.

Bragging. Maybe you took it a little too much to heart when your mom told you you’re the most special person in the whole world. Of course your mother referring to you as ‘special’ may not be what others have in mind. Talking too much about yourself, taking over the conversation, how much is in your piggy bank, what kind of Tonka Truck you speed in, is NOT IMPRESSIVE! Do yourself a quick favor: get over yourself!

Under-whelming. As your evil twin, “the bragger,” if you fail to deliver interesting stories or enlightening facts about yourself, your date may lose interest.

Communication…or lack thereof. Uncomfortable silence…err….what to do, what to do? Nerves can sometimes get to the best of us, but, if the conversation becomes one-sided, your date may believe you’re not interested when in fact you really are. Loosen up! Try not to sabotage a good thing.

Talking about ex’s. You’re on a date with HIM, he’s on a date with YOU-pay attention to each other, not your ex’s. Oh, and here’s a definite deal-breaker: telling your date you remind them of their ex-oh boy! In fact, try not to talk about other females or males in general. Point taken? Good!

Assuming you’ll “close the deal” by the end of the night. You’re out of luck, buddy…or buddette! Your date will feel quite disrespected if this was really your main goal for the evening.

Insulting your date. What you may see as constructive criticism, others may see as a personal attack. Rudely commenting on where in the world she found that interesting hat or ridiculing her on choosing a superficial job in fashion are unwelcome.

Treating your server poorly. This is most probably a reflection of how your date treats others in their life….be careful, this could be you!

Diverting your attention. Even if you’ve lost interest in your date (and appetite) only after finishing your salad, do respect and pay attention when your date’s talking to you. Don’t look around the room at the opposite sex or let you mind wander because you’re over it.

Answering your cell phone. Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! DO NOT BREAK THE CARDINAL RULE OF DATING. There’s nothing like showing how unimportant your date is when you say, “This’ll just take a sec!” to answer your phone or return a text. If you’re expecting an important call regarding a legitimate reason, tell your date at the beginning of you outing in order to avoid any surprises.

50 First Dates? Uh, Well, Like Maybe It’s Your Communication Skills

Why do first dates fail? It’s an interesting question because fail they do, and with alarming frequency. In my own 10-plus years of dating experience, as well as what I’ve learned through friends’ failures, I’ve seen first dates bomb for lack of “chemistry”, because the guy was more interested in getting laid than getting to know his date, or because the girl didn’t look like Jessica Alba. But of all first date disasters that I’ve been privy to, the single most common hitch was a failure to communicate.

It’s no secret that poor communication is often a key source of misunderstandings, jealousy, distance, and a host of other dysfunctional dating side-effects. But… let’s face it, when it comes to communication the rules of the road in dating etiquette are as a clear as mud. Fear not, with a few helpful hints to upgrade your messaging we’re confident your success sealing that second date will become the envy of your single friends.

Apply a filter

After an interview with Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker star Patti Stanger, Glamour magazine blogger, Erin Meanley, noted that “single women are so trusting that they tell too much information about themselves. They pump and dump — they baggage dump!” This is sage advice. I have a friend who fancies himself a foodie. Whenever the conversation turns to the subject of what to eat, he can’t control his urge to blurt out every fact and opinion he has on where to eat in Kyoto, why free range chicken isn’t *really* free, and what to bring to a bengali wedding banquet. It’s not hard to see how the gift of gab can be something of a curse during a first date. Burdening your date with information overload will kill any chances you have of successfully getting a second date.

It’s not an interrogation

Let’s be clear, most people don’t want to be put on the spot the first time you go out with them. If you hurl questions at your date like Katie Couric on steroids, you may find your date making a beeline for the bathroom. If your date keeps her answers brief, seems annoyed, or genuinely disinterested it means its time to cut short your line of questioning, Columbo.

Fungus is never an appropriate first date topic

Common wisdom dictates that first date conversation should never include topics like sexual prowess, ex’s, family medical history, finances, or the like. On a first date, it’s important to keep the conversation light, casual and fun. Steer clear of heavy, negative, or crass topics – it’s simply not romantic. Don’t recount every detail of your latest breakup, the best sex you’ve ever had, or your plan to get hitched before the New Year (unless you are trying to ditch your date, of course).

A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat

Let’s get right to the point… listening is a basic rule in any relationship, but on a first date it’s rule numero uno. If you don’t listen to what your date has to say, how will you know if you want a second date? (We’re giving you some credit here by assuming you care about more than what your date looks like.) Listening means really paying attention to what your date has to say, not just giving the appearance of listening all the while thinking about what color panties she’s wearing, whether his hair will recede by age 30, or what time you need to jet to hook up with your friends.


Asian Men – Dating Tips

If you are an Asian man dating and have had no luck or you just do not have a lot of time, you may want to try an Asian dating service or Asian internet dating. When you date by using an Asian dating agency, you can save a large amount of time. Find Asian women dating that have the same interests as you do. Skip the lost time of dating women who are not your type, do not have the same beliefs as you do, and basically who you are not looking for to spend the rest of your life with.

With Asian internet dating immediately meet single women who are also looking to date someone that is their match. Once you join an Asian internet dating site you can look at women’s profiles and photos. Easily find the woman that you have been looking for. You may want to correspond with a few women and date each of them to make sure you find the perfect match for you.

The great thing about Asian dating online is that you can e-mail each other first. Then you may talk via chat and webcam. Once you both feel comfortable you can talk on your computer’s microphone or on the telephone or cell phone. Set up a date that you both will enjoy. If she seems to like sports, set up a date that fits that situation. If she is more into romance and you are, too, set up a romantic date. Nothing too romantic as this is a first date. Perhaps a carriage ride in the park or city and then dinner afterward. This way the woman will feel safe in a public place for your first date. Always be a gentleman especially on the first date. Women love a man that has class and shows her respect.

Before going out on your date, you want to look your best. Women do pay attention to how you are dressed, your shoes, how you carry yourself, if you are confident and if your hands are well manicured. Women want a man who looks great as that means he cares about himself and he will care for her, too. Make sure your shirt and pants are wrinkle-free. Make sure your shoes are not torn or sloppy looking.

Make sure you have fresh breath. A big turn off for women is a man with bad breath. This means brushing your teeth and using mouth wash before the date. During the date check your breath to make sure it smells good. A tip to do this is to quickly and privately lick the inside of your wrist. When the dampness dries, smell your wrist. Whatever your wrist smells like is what your breath smells like. Keep mints in your pocket for bad breath emergencies.

If you like to wear cologne choose wisely. Pick a cologne you know your friends that are women like. Ask co-workers for advice. Ask your parents and sister (if you have one) what type of cologne they/she like to smell. Once you have your cologne selected use it sparingly. Some men put on so much cologne you can smell them before you even see them. They leave a path of the cologne scent that is so strong it makes people cough. Quite a few people are sensitive to perfume and cologne smells so you want to use it respectfully.

Women want a man that is confident and has the posture and presence to show this. Stand tall and walk with your head held high. Do not walk while looking down as this body language means a person is insecure.

Of course be a gentleman and open doors for her. If you go into a restaurant open the door and pull out her chair. Women want to be treated well and with manners such as this; you will be hard to resist with such manners.

Be a gentleman and do not try to attack her with kisses and/or your hands all over her during the date or at the end of the date. If you know she kisses on the first date, a kiss during and/or at the end of the date is fine. Just do not keep trying to go any further with her. Remember single Asian women want a gentleman to spend the rest of their life with not a man who is trying to get as far as he can with her. She will feel like she is not important to you and you are only out for one thing. Wait until the two of you have more dates and conversation. You have all of the time in the world to be intimate with each other.


First Date Safety Tips You Should Know

Are you a guy who just scored your first date with a new girl? If so, you may be excited and you should be. Although etiquette may be the very last thing on your mind, you should still consider it. If you want to score a second date, you need to make sure the first is picture perfect.

When it comes to meeting for a date, you have two options. You can pick her up or meet her at your destination. When possible, opt for a pickup. Even if you have to drive 15 minutes out of your way, do so. This gets your night started off on the right foot. If you and your date meet at the destination, offer to take her home if she took public transportation, like the bus or a taxi.

One of the most important rules of dating is to show up on time. Whether you pickup your date or meet her there, never be late. Even 5 minutes is too long to make your date wait. If you are not only interested in a second date, but a long-term relationship, show up on time. Leave early and call if you can’t avoid being late.

Even if you knew a girl before your first official date, it is still here where you will make the biggest first impression. So, make sure it is good. You must look presentable. This means wear something nice. Is your lucky t-shirt covered in stains and holed? If so, leave it at home. Do not over-dress, but never under-dress.

The quickest way to a girl’s heart on a first date is to show your interest. An easy way to do this is with eye contact. Always make eye contact with your woman. This can be hard when on a date with a beautiful girl, but it is a must. Is she talking to you? You better be looking in her eyes. This shows that you are paying attention to her, not her breasts or another girl across the room.

On a first date, politeness is important. Not only do you need to be polite to your date, but to those around you. Are you at a restaurant? Say please and thank you to your waiter and don’t start an argument or make a scene if something doesn’t go your way. Your date isn’t only gauging how you treat her, but how you treat others too.

A first date is not the time to say “I love you.” Are you absolutely smitten with your date? If so, that is good, but keep your lips sealed. It is okay to tell a girl you really like her, but leave the love word for later in the relationship. A first date does not translate into marriage, sex, or soul mates. If you try to make it, you may end the evening alone and a second date will only happen in your dreams.

If you just ended a long-term relationship, you may be feeling a wide array of emotions. You may be excited about your new date, but wondering what could of happened with your ex-girlfriend. This is okay and a natural feeling, but don’t utter a word. Past relationships should never be discussed on a first date. The moment you mention your ex-girlfriend, is the moment your first date is ruined. Your woman will only think about how she compares or if she is simply just a rebound date.

Most importantly, never assume you will get sex. Yes, some women do have sex on the first date, but not all. You do not want to pressure your date or disappoint yourself. For that reason, never assume you will get sex on the first date. Just be happy with a kiss. Your patience and understanding, should the woman want to wait, can help lead to a second date.

In short, you need to be polite and show your date respect. By doing so, you will both have a good time. In fact, your first date may lead to a second date, a third date, and possibly a long-term relationship.


Dating Guidelines – Elements of Successful Dating

Being prepared is one of the most important things to make successful dating. Taking a little time to plan for a date is not such a big deal. Plus, it gives you more confidence. As for getting ready for an hour or setting reservations for a table for two is great, showing up and forgetting stuff on your date is a big mistake and could end the date right then and there. Luckily, a checklist with the following things before leaving your house is sure to make a good impression.

Successful Dating Element #1: Wallet

Now, even if it is the 21st century and that gender roles between men and women have changed over the years, we all know that it is customary for the guy to pay. A purse, handbag, money, credit cards or a money clip, it is still a necessity to bring something to pay with. It may be the guy’s job to pay for the bill but it would not hurt for the girl to bring money with her, just in case.

Successful Dating Element #2: Mobile or Cellular phone

With technology so evident in our lives, bring your phone with you is a must. It not only acts as a security device for the ladies (you will never know when you need to call for help), it is important for the guys to keep constant contact with you date. This not only avoids confusion for the details of the date but also shows that you are still interested to push through with the date.

Successful Dating Element #3: Directions

No one likes a late date, not even the guys. If the guy is not picking you up, you can always opt to decide to meet up where the date will be. When discussing about the details of the date, make sure you have the directions of the place. Getting lost on your way is a time-consumer and wastes the time of both you and your date.

Successful Dating Element #4: Conversation

A key to a good date is conversation. A dull date would have nothing to say and would just be silent the rest of the night. Nobody wants awkward moments like those. Asking questions to each other is a great way to start conversations, kill dead air and lets you get to know each other a little more.

Successful Dating Element #5: Condoms

Yeah, that is right. Condoms. This is both for girls and guys. Even if some girls do not believe in sleeping on the first date, you can never tell. All of us have urges and, sometimes, we cannot control them. That is all right, you are human. You are not perfect. If you are going to, at least be safe!

Successful Dating Element #5: Humour and Personality

A big factor of the whole date even taking place is because the person finds you interesting. Say a joke, make them laugh, showing yourself is important, it makes the date enjoyable. Being bland and boring does not get you anywhere. A little afraid? Relax! Do not let you being scared ruin the date. It is all part of it. Also, bringing a bad mood to the date ruins it. It may lose the chance for a next one.


The Secrets of Dating Women – 4 Secrets Every Guy Must Know

Have you ever noticed how most men make dating women much more complicated that it has to be? Are there some secrets to dating women that can help men achieve more success with women and dating, without being a manipulative jerk?

Simple answer: YES.

There are a few simple secrets about dating women that most men will never know. I’m going to reveal these secrets so that you’ll be naturally become alluring to women. You’ll also never need to worry about all the B.S. that most men go through with women and dating.

Here they are:

Dating Women Secret #1 – Treat her like a “maybe.”

When most guys initiate a conversation with a woman, they have one thing in mind: get her phone number, or move things forward in some other way. However, there’s a problem with this kind of thinking: the qualification step is missing.

Women are used to qualifying men. But when a man qualifies a woman, it reverses the male-female social dynamic, putting you in the driver’s seat and giving you the power of choice.

Screen out the women that aren’t right for you right from the start. Ironically, a woman is more likely to open up and show her warmer personality to you when you show her that she needs to prove herself to you first, not the other way around.

Don’t skip this qualification step. It’ll save you a lot of heartaches in the future. And will also make you a more challenging and attractive man in her eyes.

Dating Women Secret #2 – Date many women

Most of you probably love the idea of dating multiple women at the same time. And many of you probably also think that this is something that most women wouldn’t tolerate.

Let’s set the record straight. There is nothing wrong with dating multiple women as long as it’s done in an honorable way, meaning that you’re honest to the woman about what you want in the relationship. Of course, you don’t have to directly tell her you’re dating other women, but you don’t want to lie about it either. So if she asks you if you have a girlfriend, simply say “I’m casually seeing other women, but I haven’t found the right one yet.” This also takes off the pressure from her.

Most women have no problem casually dating multiple men, so you shouldn’t either. Think of this way: How are you going to find Ms. Right if you’re not getting out there and dating a lot of women?

The only way to really know what you want in a long term relationship is to date as many women. This also creates a healthier attitude since you’re coming from a mindset of abundance, rather than desperation.

Forget that nonsense that she is the “one.” There are many beautiful, available women who are also looking to casually date many men as well. Don’t jump into an exclusive relationship the second it becomes available. Instead, learn to be comfortable playing the field.

Dating Women Secret #3 – When it’s time, move on.

One of the biggest mistakes guys make with dating women is staying in a relationship that they’re really not happy in. If at any moment you’re thinking that the woman is not right for you, then it’s probably a sign that it’s time to move on.

When you do decide it’s time to let go of a woman, don’t go back. A lot of guys will feel a little lonely after a breakup, and will want to get back into the same relationship to give it another shot. This is a mistake.

Do yourself a favor. If you decide to break up with a girlfriend and move on, then stick to it. Date other women. If after dating other women you still feel that she was the right one for you, then you can decide if she’s worth pursing again or not.

Don’t stay in a relationship for the sake of being afraid to be alone. It’s just as good to be single.


Adult Dating and Personals – Finding Sex Partners Online

Dating is supposed to be fun and fulfilling. And, let’s face it, not everyone is exactly seeking a girl or boy to take home to mama, unless of course mama herself is not “traditional”. Adult dating and personals services were designed for those seeking fun and amorous dating. This includes casual sex as well as exploring of fantasies and fetishes.

Now, in this day and age, where “hanging out” and “hooking up” are accepted norms, the line as to where “adult dating” has been blurred quite a bit. Indeed, you can expect virtually each and every married couple to have engaging in premarital sex long before the wedding date, and sometimes the bride’s belly announces the fact. But this article is not about morals. The point is that adult dating is not just about casual relationships as these can be found virtually everywhere today.

However, casual sex is a big part of adult dating and personals in general. In fact, it is what drives the adult dating industry. After all, the same people who seek these types of liaisons in bars and nightclubs have discovered a better venue in online dating: a much better venue.

You see, adult online dating beats the bar scene hands down in that you don’t have to guess who wants what in an adult dating site: it is all spelt out right there in black and white. Plus highly suggestive pictures to go with it.

The first thing you need to do when seeking adult dating partners online is to sign up with a reputable dating site. This is one even more important than when signing up for other types of dating. Why?

Well, the nature of adult personals is that they attract all types of people. It is safe to say that “bad” types of people will be found in an adult dating site. After all, these are people who don’t hide the fact that they are… well, bad (you know, by societal norms). Therefore, you should sign up with a reputable paid dating site. Why not a free dating site?

You want to avoid free adult dating sites simply because they attract a huge number of curiosity seekers and people of ill intentions. No one in his/her right state of mind is going to pay a fee to sign up with an adult dating service “just to see what’s going on there”.

Also, criminal elements like to hang out in free dating sites (including non-adult ones) simply because they know they can hide much more easily. With a paid dating service you can always be traced using the credit card you used to pay your membership fee – unless, of course the card itself is a stolen one.

Next, create a catchy screen name. Just another “hotsandsexyjen24” or “jakethestud” will not get you far. Try to make it more distinctive and meaningful.

Your picture is perhaps the most important aspect of your adult dating profile. You should post more than one if the site allows. This is where you put your best assets out there. In other words, flaunt it if you have it. No, this does not necessarily mean nudity. Rather, you should attempt to bring out your most attractive physical attributes in the picture.

This could be your bosom, bottom, eyes, lips… well, if you have something that people including strangers complement you on, this is what you should attempt to show in the photo.

You also need to write a good personal profile. Adult dating profiles differ from other types of dating in that you are seeking sex or fun partners, not a date in the traditional sense. Go ahead and use adult language – it is the essence of the game. Just say what you want and what you bring. Read other profiles that you like to get an idea and model (but don’t copy) them.


Should You Have Sex on the First Date? Find Out Some Great Dating Tips

One author wrote ‘ If I had a nickel for every women who’s asked, “Will sex on the first date ruin everything?” I’d be a well to do financially woman with a lot of slutty friends. Sex on the first date is not considered the best road but find out more from people that have experience in the dating and online dating vista.

All I recognize is that I still respect the man in the morning even if he does put out on the first. Occasionally I even fix him breakfast. But I’m not always sure the spirit is reciprocal. She continued. And this affirmation makes one inquire about the principles of the dating setting and how to behave even if you just got together from an online dating website or have been in a respectable friendship or occasional relationship for a while as Friends.

This could possibly come as a shock however oftentimes is something of a double standard in our world today. A concupiscent adult female who is unembarrassed and un-remorseful with her sexual appetites often runs into heartbreak. Sometimes this represents the outcome of her lover’s religious raising, which could ignite the unconscious minds “shame on” button after sex — even while his understanding wishes to argue it’s okay. Sometimes it’s due to a more world-wide “good girls don’t” perceptual experience. Sometimes it’s due to the fact that your partner’s solitary involvement in you to lead off with was sexual and having met his curiosity, he’s set to move on.

Realize, a lot of men do not necessarily regard sex in the setting of a dedicated relationship. So their response to your question might be: “Relationship? We don’t have a relationship — we had sex!” Which makes sense with the dating and relationship scene these days. It might appear that some online dating sites are just for that: sex. It really is best for guys to look for safe relationships with a adult female, through smart dating habits.

Sex on the 1st date. This really ain’t breaking news here. I mean, there exists really nothing new about this quandary. While obviously I don’t acknowledge for certain, I am pretty certain it’s been around since the whole concept of going steady got started, whether it existed before the online dating web sites came around or before there was even a social online dating scene. Earlier times in this century, when dating really got started, it still was a ‘social taboo’

Every dating book that I have ever read, every dating and relationship and advice blog or on-line dating website and online relationship social forum that utters about sex on the first date sounds out it’s a unsound thought. Many guys say it’s a risky idea. I would suppose it seems as though the consensus follows that it’s a unsound idea. Especially when meeting on-line, on the net, through dating web sites, Facebook, MySpace or any other techniques that are not through family and acquaintances one requires to take even longer to develop a good man and woman human relationship to get to know each other. Then communicating online through electronic mail or on the net you’ll then acquire a better estimation of what attracted you in the first place if it was through an onlilne dating website.

They allege that sex on the first date stamps out the mystery and that guys like a challenge. There’s also that saying no one wishes to buy the whole ice cream truck when you are giving out the popsicles for free. Oh and who wants the whole cow when you are giving the milk away for free is a very familiar story that you possible have have read about on the social blogs and dating website chat boards on the internet. I am pretty sure there are dozens more, but you get the idea here. Part of me can buy into this. Though technically if we experience sex on the third or fourth date won’t that wipe out the mystery? Plus if you are only into a person because they are mysterious I don’t think you’re headed for eternal bliss. After all, the mystery does eventually expire right?

I could go on about that, though that is not particularly where I am trying to go with this. Most women have learned very early on that a woman gives the last say with the entire sex thing. A lot of guys have told me that this is because the woman has more at stake. Which, sure I can agree there. Shes the one that can get pregnant thing.


Online Dating – 2 Ways Dating Has Changed in the Last Several Years

Now that you are in the online dating game, you might wonder just how your flirting and dating skills match up against the other singles. It won’t take long for you to realize that the dating scene has changed dramatically.

Online Dating Has Developed Into a Multi Million Dollar Industry

1. Over the last several years online singles dating has changed and has become a sophisticated science of matchmaking, the best online dating sites have developed some unbelievable search tools that have been based on years of extensive research. Some of the singles sites have tools to find singles that match the qualities that you are looking for in that person in the “old” days of online dating you had to search through the databases one by one. You want to think of dating as fun so it is important to find the best dating site that offers the best matchmaking tools for your dating strategy.

If you enjoy searching for singles by going through profiles and pictures one at a time, there are several dating sites that make that possible, or, if you want the dating site to do the searching for you based on the profile you input in their system and find what they believe are the suitable “matches” this online dating method can also be done. The days of just uploading your picture and profile and watching the winks and flirts come rolling in are gone, the internet dating pool has grown to be very large and complex and that is why it is so important to find a dating site that suits your needs. The sites that have advanced matchmaking techniques and do the searching for you and give you your matches that you can review for free are getting very popular. Remember, your paying the dating site so let them do the work for you.

2. Dating More Than One Person at A Time Is Becoming More Popular

Several years ago, online dating made it possible to have a date almost whenever you wanted it well singles have taken that to another level, dating several people at one time. Sounds crazy? Not really. There are a number of benefits to multi dating. First, your expectations are of that person are less because you don’t have the pressure of having to make this relationship work, you can let it grow on it’s own without forcing it. Secondly, you can put your flirting and dating skills to work more often, and remember the old cliché practice makes perfect. Dating more than one at a time does really have it’s advantages. Good Luck and Happy Online Dating.


What I Advise For a First Date – 10 Tips

The best place I can advise you to go for a first date is meeting her at either a coffee shop (or decent bar/restaurant) if she is a complete stranger or if you have a familiarity with the lady, picking her up to go play pool, miniature golf or to eat at a decent bar/restaurant.

In any case, you are NOT going to spend over about 2-3 hours with her MAX for the first date.

On our radio show we have a phrase: “men rush into rejection.”

That means that a lot of guys find a woman they really like and then get in her face way too much. They call her all the time, ask her to go out on another date while they are on a date, give her flowers and candy plus more things that hurt their cause.

All the guy is doing is showing her that he likes her, right? What is wrong with that?

Problem is that women do not respond to a guy they can figure out right away. They want to laugh, have a good time (remember the song, “Girls Just Want To Have Fun?”), and anticipate whether or not the guy is ever going to call them again (if they are not structured or hard headed, that is, and you do not want a woman like that anyway).

On a first date you want to do the following:

1. Show her that you are a gentleman by pulling her chair out, keeping your eyes looking at her eyes and focusing totally on her (without staring at the waitress). Yes, manners and class do count when you are dealing with a good woman.

2. Take her to a place where you two can talk. Concerts and movies are bad first date ideas. Loud bars are bad first date ideas. Games like pool and miniature golf can be good because you can really be playful with each other. Decent bars and restaurants with light or no music are all right as well. You want to be able to talk with her.

3. Make sure you make her laugh. I do not mean you have to be a stand up comedian and tell jokes but keep it light, keep it funny. If you lack a funny bone then please take an improvisation class or watch movies with comic geniuses that you admire. You must make her laugh and NEVER bring up downer subjects. She does not care that your ex girlfriend broke your heart 2 months back or that you did not get the video game you were anticipating when you were 11. Your job on the first date is to get a second date and you will not get a second date if you make her mama or your psychiatrist.

4. Let her do about 90% of the talking. Ask her thoughtful questions and ask her follow up questions to show you understand what you are asking. Women love to talk about what is going on in their lives and they get a “high” when you really listen to them. DO NOT let her drift into heavy subjects of her own. Remember, KEEP IT LIGHT, KEEP IT FUNNY. You let her do most of the talking because she enjoys it when a man listens AND the less talking you do, the more of a mystery you are to her. Every other guy on the planet wants to tell her all about himself, his accomplishments, his failures and frustrations but you are going to be DIFFERENT. She is going to laugh and have a good time and wonder where a guy like you has been hiding.

5. You do not want to take her to an expensive place. A woman with a good heart that is flexible and truly interested in you does not mind miniature golf or a coffee date. A woman that is a mercenary (gold digger), structured, or more interested in your credit card than you, will not respond positively to “inexpensive places” and that is good because you do not want a woman like that anyway. Might as well spend $8 on a couple of coffees to find out you have a mercenary on your hands as opposed to spending $100 at a fancy restaurant. If you have a good girl then down the road it is all right to spend money on her but early on, you have to find out what kind of girl you have. Do not spend too much.

6. Do not spend a lot of time with her (2-3 hours max). Remember, no matter how much rapport you two have, on a first date you are still basically strangers* so there is nothing good about having an extended date with her. Remember, she builds her feelings up for the guy as she is wondering about him and anticipating the next date. The more time you spend on the first date, the more you short circuit that process. You do not have to do it all in one date so make sure to get out on a high. Make sure she is anticipating a second date with you.