Dating – First Date Do’s and Don’ts

We all have been there, the first date. You look forward to it all day long, getting more and more nervous as the time draws near. Thoughts race through your mind like, “What if they don’t like me?” “Are we going to have anything in common?” What should I talk about?” “Should I pay for out meal?” We have all thought the same things and dealt with the sweaty palms and racing hearts.

The most common advice people give when it comes to first date advice is “just be yourself and you will be fine”. Well that is good advice, but for a first date you need to “step it up a notch”. Be yourself and then some. The first date is your chance to really “sell” yourself. Convince your date that you are worth a second date. But don’t over do it either.

When first meeting your date; try to remain calm and cool. If you are nervous and jittery chances are you will say or do something that will embarrass you or your date. It is OK to greet your date with a hug but avoid the urge to kiss them, remember this is just the start of your first date. If you are lucky you will get a kiss at the end of the date. It is a good idea to have your date planned out ahead of time, know when you’re going and where. You don’t want to be standing around saying, “well now what?”

If you are going out to eat make reservations ahead of time, it shows that you took the time to actually plan the date. This isn’t necessary if you are having a very casual date, but I recommend having a more formal date for your first one. When I say formal I mean, a nice dinner, not fast food from the local greasy spoon. When at dinner it is very important to make conversation, after all communication is the key in any relationship. If you can’t think of anything to talk about, ask your date questions about them. Asking questions will tell your date that you are interested in learning more about them. Avoid questions that are too personal, if you think that a question is maybe too personal chances are that it is, best to avoid it. On the other end of the spectrum, don’t talk too much; let your date also talk. If you talk too much your date will think you only care about what you have to say.

Use your manners! Having good table manners is very important. You don’t want your date to think that you are a slob or a messy eater. Arms off the table and chew with your mouth closed. What I’m getting at here is basically be at your very best behavior. Also be polite to the wait staff. Being rude or obnoxious will be a second date killer. When it comes time to pay the bill, Guys, step up to the plate here, unless you agreed before hand that you were going to split the bill. Also guys, never, ever, let your date pay the entire tab! Everything you do on your first date will be a reflection of how you are in the future, at least to your date, remember that.

When the date is coming to an end, be sure that you let your date know how much you enjoyed their company (even if you didn’t, be polite). Do not ask for a second date outright. Exchange your phone numbers. Guys, chances are the girl will not call you first; they will be waiting for you to call them. Don’t make them wait days either. Call them the next day to thank them again for the date and to reassure them of the good time you had with them. This is a good time to let them know that you are interested in seeing them again. If they want to have a second date, now will be the time to set up a time and date.

As you have more and more dates with the same person, you can become less and less formal, to the point of both parties being themselves and comfortable. Just remember that the first date is your sales pitch for the second date. If you can “sell” yourself you will be on your way to a relationship in no time. Have fun and remember guys, be polite!

 

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